Thursday, June 07, 2007


I didn't know this existed, or that people were so against it...

Official Website:


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Stolen Basil

I should have posted this last summer, but I guess I was pretty pissed. Someone stole my gi-normous basil plant from the front of my place. I posted a rant on Craig's List and never looked back. I just needed to get some aggression off my back. I just took a look at my CL account and noticed a new color... PINK = Flagged/Deleted. Woo hoo!

Anyway, here it is...

F-you, you f'ing f'er! What the F?! I had a huge basil plant, just waiting to be harvested for the pesto dinner of a lifetime and you f'ing stole that sh1t right out of my yard. Dick! F-you!! What kind of derelict steals basil? Are you a bum and need to chiffonade yourself up some tasty basil to add to your trash can dinner? You know what... not all herbs can be smoked you crackhead junky FUKC! (spelled incorrectly on purpose to avoid the CL police, so don't give me any sh1t for my rant... thank you) Or are you some pretentious ass f'ed up Californian who moved here to use and abuse the system? "I know dear, let's move to Portland where we can flip a house and use all that fast cash for some blow. And while we're there we can nosh on some street eats with the Californians-turned-bums who wasted their small fortunes on blow fifteen years ago. It will be like looking into a mirror of the future." GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA YOU F'ING PRICK!! YOU OWE ME PESTO!!! Everywhere I go around town, people have signs up to the thief that stole their poppies, roses, apples, flowers, etc. Yes, Portlanders like leaving stuff out for other people to take. It's like Craig's List and Freecycle before either existed. We like participating in that community spirit. It makes us who we are. Then you come along and f'ing abuse it. Stop! If it's growing, it's not free for the taking. People take care and pride in making their plants grow. You know why my basil was so f'ing huge? Because I was out there nearly every day picking off the flowers and cutting back tops, making a salad here and there, facilitating growth. And you came by and hacked it off at its base with one fell swoop. How did you even cut it? The stalk was about as big as my pinky finger. Have you been casing my place waiting for the right time in the middle of a sunny afternoon to make your move? It wasn't wild basil... it was MY basil! Give it BACK!!!